Oh, New York

The View from New Jersey

 

This article from Buzzfeed explains some of my feelings about New York lately. Most of the time, I love living in NYC. Sometimes, though, I'm ready for a change of scenery. Lately, the man friend and I have been discussing (finally!) combining households, but he doesn't want to live in New York. The compromise we have come up with is New Jersey - somewhere where we can live in an actual house with some sort of outdoor space, but still commuting distance for me.

Although this will still be in close vicinity to Manhattan, I can't help but feel hesitant. The biggest reason, of course, being my apartment. My apartment is rent stabilized, and is a needle in a haystack find. It's inexpensive by New York standards, and big (also by New York standards ...). It's in an amazing neighborhood, zoned for an excellent public school. There are, of course, drawbacks though. Although I don't have any neighbors to the left or right of me (it's a narrow building, so only one apartment in the front and one in the rear on each floor), I still have to be mindful of the upstairs and downstairs neighbors. This was particularly stressful when Audrey was a baby, and it's stressful now with a puppy who starts yapping for attention at 6am. Also, it's a no-frills building. No amenities. No outdoor space, unless you count the fire escape. Ha. Third floor walk up. I have to schlep my laundry three blocks. The building is very safe - quiet, mostly family of the owners who have lived in the building most of their lives. They are very strict about giving out keys, which is great in that it adds to the secure feeling of the building, but is sometimes a pain. I could never give keys to a sitter or a boyfriend. It's old, and some rooms are in desperate need of a makeover. And yet, I know I'll never find a better deal should I give it up.

As for New York itself - I mean, it's New York. It's crazy, busy, packed to the brim with stuff to see and do and eat, but also with tourists. I love that public transportation is so easy to use, but hate that I don't have a car sometimes - trips out of the city, grocery shopping, etc. I love that I can have any I want delivered to my front door, but wish I could just hop in a car and run to Target or something. I love all there is to see and do and explore here, but sometimes wish I could just open my back door and kick back in a chair with a cup of coffee (or wine...) while Audrey runs around in our yard.

Some random finds from around New York:

The Lego Men in Seal Park



This fun find in some random park I found walking around one day

The Piano under the Brooklyn Bridge

I know there is more to the world than New York. I don't know why I feel so strongly that this is my home. Maybe there's some psychological reason to be found related to my childhood in the Poconos, surrounded by New York transplants and "summer kids" (families that lived in New York but kept summer homes in the Poconos). I remember 15 year old me telling my boss that I wanted to go to Columbia. I later opted for NYU instead, but NYU was the only school I applied to.

My aunt lived in my apartment before me, for over 20 years. She also moved to New York for college and never left. She was diagnosed with MS as an adult, and slowly lost the ability to walk, but held on to the third floor walk up apartment for as long as possible. I don't want to hold on because I feel like I can't let go of an apartment. I can probably sublease it, but only for so long. You can't cross the ocean unless you have courage to lose sight of the shore, though, right? Probably too melodramatic for a post about giving up my apartment in order to try out living in New Jersey.

If I move, and I regret it, can I come home again? Or will New York no longer feel like home? I fantasize about a dishwasher and a second bathroom and a yard and a parking space, but don't want to give up being able to go no further than a few blocks for almost anything, to have Indian, Chinese, Thai, Italian, you name it - all within a 3-4 block radius, being a short train ride away from gorgeous parks, amazing museums, finding the random little oddities around our neighborhood. So basically, what I'm saying, is I need to make millions of dollars for the life I want in New York, but it ain't happening, at least not in the near future. So do I sacrifice the space and the comforts at home for New York, or sacrifice New York for the house?

I'm aware this post sounds like the ramblings of a whiny schizophrenic. Hopefully someday I'll be able to look back at this and laugh, either from the comfort of my large home in Weehawken, or my high rise luxury apartment on the Upper West Side.