 |
| Here's a calm, pretty picture to lighten the tone of the last few posts. Via Unsplash. |
I've spent the past few posts sharing my experiences to date with Family Court in Manhattan - specifically, Support Court. I may share my experiences with the Custody part of this horror show at a later date.
I want to add that I've been told it's near impossible to switch magistrates. Doing so requires appearing before your currently assigned magistrate, asking him/her to recuse her/himself from your case, and then writing a letter to the supervising judge. The process continues from there, but I was informed by the lawyer who provides free advice in the Family Court petition room that it's a lengthy process that very rarely gets approved. Recusals are often only approved in instances in which the magistrate is personally known or related to one of the parties. I have thought about trying anyway, but should the switch not go through, I'm stuck with a magistrate who now knows just how much I despise her.
In conclusion, I want to make something crystal clear, in case there are ever readers of this tale. I did not force a child on my ex. She was not planned, but was wanted by both of us. In fact, my ex urged me to keep her when I was initially unsure, promising to mature, become responsible, and be a good father.
Promises are broken, however, and I had to turn to Family Court to help me get my ex to provide for his child. This system is dysfunctional, though, and not set up to do what is in the best interests of the children. I get that tax dollars only go so far, magistrates can only handle so much. But it took A YEAR from the date of my first filing till I received a decision. It'll be several more years before the arrears balance is paid off. I'm "fortunate" in that I was able to scrape by, by borrowing against my 401k, draining my savings, and putting a month's tuition on a credit card. Obviously, this sucked. I had no savings to fall back on if an emergency came up. I couldn't afford to do anything fun, and a lot of times, figuring out paying my bills was stressful. I will pay interest on that 401k loan and the credit card debt. But the alternative - not being able to pay my bills or afford childcare - is worse. What if I truly ran out of resources and had to quit my job to stay home with my child? What if I had to move closer to family for help? Who would have suffered then? If I quit my job, I might have had to rely on government resources - unemployment, medicare, food stamps. If I were forced to move, my and Audrey's lives would have been uprooted, and the visitation schedule would have to change/decrease. All because the magistrate couldn't have bothered to issue a new order or at least schedule a trial the first time I appeared, last July. So Family Court, how about you remind some of your magistrates (this isn't a blanket statement, I'm sure some of them care about their jobs) that there are children involved here? Children that need food and a bed to sleep in. Children whose custodial parent needs to work to provide those things, but needs childcare to do so. I'm aware that the problem is so much bigger than family court - affordable childcare is a joke in this country - but in the case of single parent families like mine, Family Court can be one of the places that does whatever small part they can to fix a huge problem.
To be continued, ad nauseam, I'm sure.
No comments:
Post a Comment