Single Mom in Manhattan Part Deux

 



Old picture. Her father is responsible for this one, but it makes me laugh.


A huge part of living in Manhattan is figuring out how to make it work financially. Even without a child in the picture, it's expensive. While I won't share my exact income, I though I would give an overview of how I cover everything.

My own income is enough to cover all our normal expenses - rent, food, utilities - plus about half of the monthly childcare expense. Audrey's father is obligated to pay a base weekly child support payment and 38% of the childcare expense, but unfortunately, that's not something I can count on. I won't share exactly how much he should be paying, but he has a substantial amount of arrears. This often leads to me falling back on savings and a credit card to cover the remainder of the childcare payment. I am not on any sort of government assistance and my income is not increased by any way I did not earn (i.e., help from family). My brother, as I mentioned, lives with me. Initially, he just babysat in exchange for housing, but as his availability declined, we agreed upon a small rent payment.

Like I mentioned, my apartment is rent stabilized. This isn't anything that requires special qualifications - it isn't income based, it's basically luck based. My other expenses, electricity, cable, internet, cell phone, a couple credit cards, total less than $500. I have thought about getting rid of my cable lately, and just switching to internet/streaming services such as Netflix & Hulu. It would probably chop about $100 a month off my expenses. I had always kept cable as a "splurge," because as a single mom with a small child, I didn't do a lot socially. But now that Audrey is getting older and we spend a lot more time out and about, it doesn't seem as necessary.

I'd like to pay off the credit cards and get rid of them as soon as possible. I do have two that I use, and unfortunately, carry a balance on. I try to only use them for emergencies, but unfortunately that's been more often than I'd like lately.

I don't eat out often, I don't go out drinking (not because I am opposed to drinking ... give me a bottle of wine any day), I don't spend a lot on clothes. I maintain a budget and keep track of all my expenses. I am trying very hard to get that arrears balance my ex has built up paid so I can have some breathing room again. Audrey has eleven more months of preschool, one month of which is already paid (last month tuition/deposit that I paid when she started). When she finishes in June of 2015, and starts Kindergarten in September of 2015, my childcare expenses will drop dramatically, which should also make things a lot easier.

Until then, our adventures around Manhattan will usually be free or cheap. There will be no fancy vacations or clothes, and I'll continue to keep a tight budget, but I like our life here, so it isn't worth leaving to me. Sure, I could move back out to Pennsylvania, but I would have to find a job with a drastic paycut, or commute 1.5+ hours each way to continue to work in the city. Not worth it to me. Any other area commuting distance to Manhattan, but safe enough for a child, isn't any cheaper, thanks to my rent stabilized apartment. So, we are here for the long haul, Mannahatta.

Single Mom in Manhattan



This little ray of sunshine makes it all worth it.


Don't worry, she was totally fine. She just didn't want me to take a picture of her. Seriously, that's why she's crying. Such a diva. Not a fan of my own appearance in the pic, but it's too funny not to post.

Anyway, the point of this post is to share how I make our day to day lives work. I work full time, and don't have much in the way of "free" help - Audrey's father has her every other Sunday afternoon, and my brother is the only family member nearby. My brother actually lives with me. He moved in last January to go to school in the city. Initially, we exchanged babysitting for rent, but his school and work schedules allow for minimal babysitting, and Audrey is in full-time preschool now anyway.

Fortunately, I have pretty good work hours. I have an 8 hour day, with an hour built in for lunch, so I actually only have a 35 hour work week. With a half hour commute each way, Audrey's preschool provides just enough coverage. My brother still picks Audrey up and watches her for an hour or two one day a week, so I can stay a little late at work and catch up on stuff or run errands. Occasionally I do something with friends and he watches her for a couple hours, but that's very rare. The rest of my family lives in Pennsylvania, or farther, so while my mom and sister have come out for emergencies in the past, they aren't around for day to day needs.

When her preschool closes and I'm not off work, I'm fortunate enough to have a back up daycare at work. It's part of the Bright Horizons schools, and available for use for up to 20 days per calendar year (although one year I had to use it much more than that and it wasn't a problem) for $20 a day. This has saved me many, many times. In fact, Audrey's preschool closes for two weeks next month for annual maintenance, etc., and she will be at the daycare for most of that.

As for the little things - things you wouldn't think are a big deal - laundry, grocery shopping? Yea, those are harder than you'd think when you're trying to do them on your own, with a small child in tow, in Manhattan. We don't have a laundry room in my building, the closest one is a couple blocks away. For a long time, I just sucked it up and did my laundry with Audrey in tow - bringing her to the park or the diner while the clothes were in the washer, coming back to switch them over, then same thing while they were in the dryer. It was tedious. I finally realized dropping it off and having them do it for me didn't cost much more, if anything at all, and it saved a small piece of my sanity.

Another seemingly simple task, grocery shopping, is again, not so simple. Carting bags of groceries home and up three flights of stairs in one hand while trying to hold a three year old's hand with the other? Not fun. I don't do all my shopping at once, or even at the same store. I go to Trader Joes for a bunch of stuff, Fairway for things Trader Joes doesn't carry. Both deliver for free or cheap, so I've used that service when I have a lot in my cart. There's also the Fruit Exchange at Chelsea Market, which has every kind of produce imaginable. There's also the ultimate lazy way to grocery shop, online. I use Peapod usually, but also recently discovered Amazon's Prime Pantry. The only downside with those is the soonest you can get your order is the next day, often at least two days later.

As I mentioned, Audrey is with her father for a few hours every other Sunday. I try to use that time for every thing else - catching up on tv shows I can't watch around Audrey (those True Blood sex scenes? Not 3 year old appropriate), miscellaneous errands such as returning stuff, doing stuff with friends - brunch, shows, etc., or schoolwork.

Oh right, did I mention I take online classes? Had to fill all that free time somehow right? The biggest reasoning behind this, which I think I mentioned in one of my first posts, is to defer those student loans. But I still try to do well in the classes, in case I decide to transfer the credits over to a graduate program at some point.

So in some ways, the city presents challenges that aren't found in other areas - the inconvenience of carting laundry/groceries multiple blocks without a car - but it also presents solutions not offered elsewhere. This fortunately gives me most of my weekends to enjoy with my kid. I do my own cleaning (although I'm certainly not opposed to hiring someone, it's not in my budget right now), so most of that gets done on weekends, but I try to spend as much of it as possible actually enjoying ourselves.  

Finances are another component of how I make it work as a single mom in the city, but I think I've rambled enough for one post.