Confession: I Don't Want Any More Kids

 

What else could I need?

I feel like that's less of a confession in Manhattan, where lack of space and cost of living make smaller families more attractive, but I still feel like having more than one child is the norm for most of the country. I've heard the usual questions, mainly concern for Audrey. As in, shouldn't she have a sibling? Well, shouldn't every little girl have a pony? No? Ok. That's how much sense it makes to have another child simply to please the first one. Although I can't imagine my child being pleased with a sibling, she enjoys the attention on her. Won't she be spoiled as an only child? No, I don't feel like my child will grow up to be spoiled as a result of her only-ness. I have no problem saying no to her. I have no problem letting her know that my attention is not always going to be 100% on her - as long as she's safe, she can learn to entertain herself while Mommy cooks dinner or cleans or just has 5 minutes of peace and quiet.

I just don't feel like I have the patience for another child. I'll never be one of those people who oohs and ahhs over babies. I loved my baby, but I never had baby fever. Frankly, I don't care about other people's kids. I don't feel like I'm looking at a magical little unicorn spewing rainbows everytime I see a small child. There's no tug from my ovaries. At no point since my child's birth have I ever thought "Well, maybe ...".

Cue cheesy "Just the two of us..." lyrics

The older my child gets, the easier it gets. Don't get me wrong, there are still the rough days weeks, when I drink a couple glasses of wine at night to keep from pulling my hair out, but overall, I'll take a 3 1/2 year old over the newborn stage any day. I can't even begin to fathom doing all of that again - waking every few hours, feeding & diapering every few hours, cleaning spit up off every surface of your house and person, potty training - but this time around, with an older but still small child fighting for my attention. Two of my siblings and I are each two years apart. It's very true what they say - you gain a whole new level of respect for your own mother after becoming a mother yourself. I have no idea who she tolerated a 4 year old, a 2 year old and a newborn day after day.

The response I usually get when I give people that explanation is, "Well what if you wait till Audrey's 10 or so?" Don't get me wrong, I know I'm very fortunate to have plenty of time to change my mind. I still have at least 10 child bearing years ahead of me. But, not only can I not picture doing all of the above described care with a small child along for the ride, I can't picture having a child who is a teenager, or almost a teenager, and then starting all over again with a newborn.

And finally, here comes the political part ... I believe overpopulation is a serious problem. I believe in, at most, replacing yourself. And I'll "claim" Audrey as my replacement, because her father sure doesn't need to be replaced.


Yep.